Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday ....

is the day of the week I was looking forward too. Friday night I normally spend with my family. Friday is a night I get to express myself to my DH. Let me know what's been going on, try to reconnect with my family, and usually ends on a happy note. For some reason the last two weeks ended on not a so happy note or tune. No love birds singing a romantic touching song. Just the rest of my family asleep in the bed, me left sitting alone trying to make sense of my feelings, and the week's nightmare of situations for me.

Every time I tried to get my husband's attention to the fact I needed to unload about something. Everyone including my children shut me down.No one seems to understand that mom needs someone to talk to at the moment. So, choose to try to pick up my disaster zone house because my family has chosen not to be what they use to be. A loving caring and helping being they typically are; have left a wake of a mess not just material items but of emotions with mom. Sorry that this week has not been myself of upbeat postings and encouragement but I am not feeling that perky currently.

so, I unload the rising lava of emotions on here. Hoping that maybe even in my evening of disappoint and loneliness I still can help someone know that they are not alone. There are others in similar situations but it will turn around.

Yes, I am feeling a little lonely, neglected, and feeling like no one is listening to the heart of the matter of not just in my family but in work as well. Though, I know at work they feel my pain. For they are just at a lost of what to do with some of the children we deal with. We are following every protocol, alternative disciplinary action, and positive reinforcement to encourage appropriate behavior. At home, I am not sure. Normally they are supportive, normally they are caring, and loving. That normally heals the stress fractures of the weeks drama and trauma but tonight it seems not that well. The only ear I have is forgive anyone reading this. I need to vent. I need to let go. The need to self heal and rise above to be the better person in the life I live, lead, and grow.

all I can say, is I feel better now by typing this. I feel secure. I feel real. I feel like my normal self. I feel alive again.

Thanks for allowing me to express myself.

Have a good relaxing, reconnecting, and reassuring weekend. I know I will.

So, if you are feeling down, in the dumps, a little left out, or misunderstood. Its okay we all feel that way. Take my advice, sit down grab a box of Kleenex, and let a the tears silently fall to the floor, let the silent screams come out. If you hold it in, the situation will only look more bleak than bright and sunny. Its okay to feel down but its not okay to wallow in it to long. Release and let go. Make a determination that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow you will have hope. Hang in through the night that seems endless. Hang in there for the renewing sunrise that will bring peace and resolutions to what seems like a giant of a problem. If I can say it will be better.

1 comment:

Heather T. said...

I'm sorry you were feeling so alone that night... I look forward to finding out what's going on, in May!